You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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