also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You ate ashes out of my bong
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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