I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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