I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
