There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize