i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
