If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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