we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
