even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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