Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
