who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
