I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize