i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This baby is an asshole
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
