Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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