I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
