It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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