this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
only you would photoshop your dick
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
