I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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