Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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