just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize