Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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