So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
