its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize