Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
