i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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