I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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