I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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