The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am naked and annoyed.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
