Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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