I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
