If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
