They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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