Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
