I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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