It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
