Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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