guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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