Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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