My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize