She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
