the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
