Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You can't special order awesome
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
