i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
