I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize