butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
