dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
