Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
