He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
