I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
