i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
