Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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