pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize