You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
time to smoke my breakfast
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
