Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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