why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
