I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
