im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
