Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
