Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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