slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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