Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Can I color on your dick again?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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