i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
