Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
