I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
