If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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