GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize