i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. š
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
