You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize