that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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